My heart sinks when I think of the mistakes I have made in the very early days of my son's life. I can't turn back the clock but I am determined to parent him and his siblings with a different approach. One with long term results not the quick fix to meet my needs.
No one wants to be a nag. But we can easily fall into this category when in our opinion our kids just don't listen. I did. In the very early days of my son's life I regretfully was an instructional parent. I told him what to do. When he didn't do what I asked I told him again. And if he didn't do it in the time I wanted I got frustrated. I couldn't see the damage I was doing. The other big mistake I did was do things for him. As a single mother it was just easier and quicker. Ahh it makes my blood go cold now and thankfully I now know better.
In doing everything for him I was preventing him from growing and learning independence. I was teaching him to expect everything to be done for him. I was teaching him laziness. But most of all I was stunting his growth. Instead I should have shown him how to become independent, taught him how to do things and given him responsibility. In this he would have learnt confidence in himself far earlier than he did.
Instead of nagging I should have said what I wanted to say once, with a gentle reminder then if he didn't do it there was a consequence. So I was always nagging him to get ready to go out. He was and still is not one to rush and in those earlier days it would seem like he just didn't 'hear'me. So I would say it louder (why didn't I learn?). In hindsight I should have given him a warning and then if he wasn't ready he would miss out. The lesson in that would be far greater than me getting frustrated with him and being a big bad nagging mother.
Parenting spiritually is a different approach. It encourages the child to grow. To be independent. To learn in their own time. I know that now. I apply this now and am having much greater results and seeing my children grow with self belief in themselves. They grow up so quickly. I am determined to make sure my approach is a quality approach with positive results. It is my passion.
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